


Not Your Ghost Anymore

by weepingnaiad



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Community: jim_and_bones, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-25
Updated: 2011-04-25
Packaged: 2017-10-18 15:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/190414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingnaiad/pseuds/weepingnaiad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> Modern day AU.  Jim’s had a rough year, a hostile takeover by EA (Electronic Arts) wasn’t actually the worst of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Ghost Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** The oh so extraordinary, abigail89, who reads between the lines and knows what I meant to say and makes it happen. Thank you, darling.
> 
>  **A/N:** Comment fic, inspired by the attached two pictures. The first was posted over as a daily at LJ comm, jim_and_bones. The second just seemed to go with it. The title was taken from Christina Perri’s [Jar of Hearts](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM).
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** The characters and world belong to the Master himself, Roddenberry. I am only borrowing them so they can come out and frolic a bit, not intending any copyright infringement of any sort. I do own my original characters, but they are available for parties!

*~*

Jim tucked his phone back into his pocket and changed course. Today nothing could get to him, not even Sulu interrupting his morning run for a meet-and-greet. The sun was shining at long last; a fresh breeze off the bay blew away the lingering clouds in the sky, and he felt light. Free. Enterprise had shown them all, recovered and thrived, and now had the most popular iPhone and Android apps. And all within days of its launch.

He was still riding the high of five million downloads and the endorphins coursing through his veins when he strode into the office. He grabbed a decaf soy chai latte and flirted with the totally hot barista while waiting. The flirting was easy, safe.

Whistling as he rode the elevator up to the 23rd floor, Jim checked his twitter feed, the BBC, and his e-mail, refused to frown when he deleted three more e-mails from Gaila. _Nothing_ was getting him down today.

~~*~~

Jim charged out of the conference room, barely sparing breath to spit out, “That’ll be all, _Mister Sulu!_ ” before he stalked down the hall.

He blew past Moreau, ignoring her cries of “Sir! Wait!” as he stormed into his office.

“Hold all calls!” he blurted out as the door clicked shut behind him.

With a harshly indrawn breath, he sagged against the door. He was shaking from the overload of emotion. So much for being over their betrayal. _Fuck!_

He slapped his palms against the door and swore.

“Jim?”

Jim’s eyes flew open. It couldn’t be. No fucking way did the universe hate him _that_ much. He blinked. No. Standing there before him was Bones. In the flesh. Fury engulfed him.

He pushed away from the door, eyes blazing and hard, his arms crossed over his chest. “Get. Out.”

“Jim, _please._ Hear me out.”

Bones’ voices was soft, still had that lazy drawl that ate deep into Jim, gnawed away at his resolve. He shook his head, wrapped his hurt and anger around himself and said, “That wasn’t a request.” He was relieved his voice didn’t shake even though he was trembling inside.

Bones stood. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at the ground before lifting his face to meet Jim’s hot glare. He shook his head. “I’m not leaving until you hear me out.”

Bones ran one hand ran through his hair, ruffling it. It was an unconscious gesture, gave away more of his anxiety than the bright green limning his pupils or the subtle twitching of his legs.

Jim knew Bones’ tells. Knew he was nervous. Jim didn’t care. Couldn’t afford to. Not now. Not when he’d been sure that he’d put Bones behind him. Not when he had finally convinced himself that he could do this alone.

Jim didn’t have the heart to call for security, but he couldn’t stay and listen to Bones, either. He already felt himself wavering, felt the anger giving way to the deep-seated need to know, to understand why he’d been left. Why the one person who swore he’d never leave had done just that.

Jim turned his back on Bones. “Talk to an empty room. I don’t owe you anything.”

As he made it to the door, Bones was there, his hand stopping Jim’s on the handle.

“Jim, please,” he begged.

Jim inhaled deeply, the intensely familiar scent splitting open the scars on his heart. He jerked back and away, retreating to his desk. He had to keep his distance. His body already reacted to Bones and now he was fighting physical desire along with emotional need.

“Goddammit! Why the fuck did you have to show up today?” He ran a hand through his hair, spiking it. “Or hell, why did Uhura?” His eyes narrowed. “Wait. Gaila put you up to this, didn’t she?”

White hot anger burned away any lingering desire. He hissed, “How low are they willing to stoop? And you agreed! Fuck you all! You can just walk right on out of here and tell that conniving duo that I will run Enterprise into the ground, or sell it to Microsoft before I’d ever form a partnership with that abomination, EA-Riverside.”

Bones’ eyes flashed and he glared at Jim. “I am not on the hobgoblin’s payroll! I would never do that to you! If you’d read even a single damned letter I sent you, you’d _know_ that!”

“I didn’t need anymore of your lies, _Leonard._ ” Jim smiled at Bones’ grimace. “I saw the photos of your homecoming. The happy family reunion for the press. I got the message loud and clear. I wasn’t going to be your dirty little secret.”

Bones nearly growled at Jim, a low snarl rumbled up from his chest before he slumped into one of the leather chairs in front of Jim’s desk. He looked weary, defeated. “I deserve that. And more. I know.” He looked up at Jim and blinked to focus against the sun streaming in behind Jim.

Jim swallowed, kept his retort to a snort, and stared at the man who abandoned him over a year ago. The man who tore his heart out and stomped on it. What he saw should have made his bitter heart glad, but instead he ached, felt gutted and hollow. Bones looked like hell. He’d lost weight. He was pale with fatigue, his normally strong shoulders bowed, his brow heavy, and his hair was shorter than Jim’d ever seen it. He’d _aged,_ and not gracefully.

Jim turned away, gazed out the window, but saw nothing except painful memories. Too much hiding. Secrecy. Too many events with no one at his side, until he woke to a cold bed, a half-empty closet, and a note. _A fucking note!_

“I’m not going to forgive you. If that’s why you came, you won’t get absolution from me.” Jim barely recognized the thin voice as his own.

“I’m here to explain. To try, anyway. You deserve the truth. If you want me gone afterwards, then I’ll leave and never darken your door again.”

Jim turned back, surprised by the heavy finality in Bones’ voice. The resignation and defeat was so unlike Bones that Jim, despite himself, wanted to take him in his arms and fix it. He shoved those feelings aside. They were over. He was the wrong gender for Bones. Leaning against the window, he crossed his arms over his chest to keep his hands restrained. “Make it quick then. I have a company to run.”

Bones gave Jim a short nod. “I was wrong. About everything. I screwed up. But you need to know… leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” He paused and swallowed briefly. Jim thought his eyes shone too brightly and prayed the tears did not fall. He knew he couldn’t keep it together if Bones cried.

“Harder even than burying my dad,” Bones continued. “I’m sorry. I should have known better. Should have known nothing would be different…” Anguished eyes pleaded with Jim who was still processing the revelation that David McCoy was dead.

“What happened?” Jim forced out around the lump in his throat. His words were too soft, as though he didn’t really want to know.

“ALS. Dad asked me to come home; Mama begged me to.” He twisted his hands in his lap. “Jocelyn had been on me for awhile. Wanted to give it another go. Swore she’d changed…”

“And you leapt at the second chance. Couldn’t wait to prove just how _straight_ Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy is. I’m surprised Jocelyn’s not pregnant by now.” His voice was full of sarcasm. He had no sympathy to spare.

Bones looked at him and shrugged, didn’t bother to deny it. “My father was dying. I wasn’t going to add to his pain.”

“Whatever.” Jim waved his hand in the air. “We done?”

“Goddammit!” Bones hissed. “No! I may be a coward and a liar, but I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us! You were sick of hiding and I couldn’t--” he stumbled over his words, then straightened and fixed Jim with a hard stare. “I couldn’t come out. Not to my family. Not to anyone in Georgia. Hell, how many folks _here_ even know the truth?”

Jim could count those on the fingers of one hand, and two of _those_ had stolen Jim’s company. He’d never hidden who he was and Bones’ refusal to acknowledge Jim publicly had been a growing problem in their relationship.

“I’m sorry about your dad, B-. I’ll make a donation to the ALS foundation in his name.” He barely caught himself, but that nickname didn’t fit any longer. Jim dragged his eyes from Bones. He glanced at the clock. Bones needed to leave before Jim did something he’d regret. “Uh, thanks?” he offered.

Bones’ eyes flashed and he stood up, placed his palms flat on Jim’s desk. Jim gulped as Bones’ shirt opened to reveal a flash of gold. “Goddammit, Jim! You’re not making this easy!”

Jim glared. “Easy? Why the fuck should I make this _easy?_ Do you have any idea what the last year has been like for me? As if losing you wasn’t enough, Spock and Gaila sold Riverside to Electronic Arts! Combined their shares and voted against me. I couldn’t do a damned thing!” He was flailing, angry, hurt. “So pardon me for not making this _’easy’_!” he sneered.

Bones straightened, his mouth agape. “I had no idea, Jim. God. I’m sorry.”

The remorse, the honest to god pain in Bones’ voice nearly broke Jim. He swallowed the shuddering of his lungs and squeezed his eyes tight. He’d be damned if he shed more tears over any of them.

“Jim.”

Bones had moved to his side, so close his breath brushed against Jim’s cheek. Startled, Jim pulled back and hit his head against the window glass. “Motherfucker!” he yelped. “Don’t,” he warned, but Bones had never listened in the past. And that hadn’t changed one bit.

A warm hand cupped his head, the tenderness almost too much to bear. Bones’ brows were knitted together with worry. “I’m sorry. It didn’t take me long to realize how badly I had screwed up. It wasn’t going to work out with Jocelyn, so I told her the truth. All of it.”

Jim was fighting the urge to wrap himself around Bones. How long had it taken him to sleep through a single night after Bones left? He couldn’t go through that again. Shaking his head, he lifted his hands and pressed them against Bones’ chest.

Their eyes locked and Jim froze, pinned like a field mouse praying the hawk didn’t see him.

“I tried to be a good son. Knew I couldn’t come back here after the way I left…” His voice was filled with so much regret, so thick with guilt that Jim almost offered his forgiveness, anything to fix Bones. “I failed them, too. I hurt everyone I loved, but I’m trying to make it right.”

Jim didn’t follow. “What?”

“I came out to my mom and Dad, Jim. Made peace with who I am before Dad died. Even Jo-Jo knows.”

That warm hand was still protecting his head from the glass. “And?” he squeaked, his eyes riveted to Bones’, their luminous jade green darkening to burnt sienna.

“The estate’s settled, custody’s squared away…” He paused, took in a deep breath, and said, “And my mom wants to meet you.”

“Your mom?” Jim was baffled. He thought there was no way Bones was saying what he hoped he was hearing. After all the years they’d spent as friends, and more, he couldn’t fathom that Bones was truly ‘out’.

“And Jo-Jo. I love you, Jim. I never should have left. Should have talked to you, told you what happened.” That large hand dragged through his hair and cupped his cheek. He met Bones’ eyes, easily read the fear there.

Jim couldn’t disagree, but his voice was stuck, lodged beneath a swell of emotion, loss, and betrayal overwhelmed by hope and a growing warmth suffusing his soul.

Bones let out a sharp breath and dropped his hand. He pursed his lips and gazed at Jim sadly before giving a curt nod. “I should have known better. I waited too long…”

His eyes shone wetly and Jim broke as he turned away, his hand shooting out to stop him. “Wait! I-I didn’t hear a question,” he prompted.

Bones turned back. He licked his lips and looked so unsure, terrified, but he steeled his shoulders, met Jim’s eyes and asked, “Please, Jim? Take me back? Give me a chance to prove how much I love you.”

He watched, eyes wide, as Bones took the chain off, the charms that Jim had given him tangled with something else. Jim gasped as Bones unhooked the clasp, slipping off a thin gold band. He held it out on his palm, an offering and a promise. “It was my dad’s. Mama wanted me to have it.” His hand shook minutely. “And you’re the only one that I want to wear it, Jim.”

Despite the million promises he’d made to himself, the oaths that he’d sworn in the dark of night, he reached out and ran his finger over the band, circling it with his index finger. Then he folded Bones’ fingers over his palm, covering the gold.

“You hang onto that for me, Bones.”

Bones eyes shone, a question on his lips. Jim shook his head then gave him a small smile. “Give me a chance to process all this, okay? I-I need to take it slow.”

Tension fled from Bones’ frame and laughter burbled up, bursting free from Jim’s lips as he was enveloped in strong arms, pulled tight, and squeezed until he couldn’t breathe. “I love you, darlin’. Take all the time you need!”

The End


End file.
